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Messy Rooms: Get Your Shit Together

You know the scene, especially if you’ve ever lived in a dorm or a really cheap apartment building: you walk into someone’s room and the place is a complete dump. There’s junk all over the place, dirty dishes in the sink, and the place reeks. Does the room smell like the occupant or does the occupant smell like the room? Of course, you expect people’s rooms to be messy — after all, your room is probably messy as well — but there’s a fine line between a messy room and a disaster.

And to really succeed, you need to learn how to walk this line carefully.

Step 1: The Bed

Your bed is allowed to be made, unmade, or nonexistent. No one gives a shit about how you sleep as long as they can’t see anything crusty.

Step 2: The Desk

The desk is one of the key parts of your home, where you store all your important paperwork, your writing supplies, and maybe even a computer if you have room. When it comes to desks, you’re generally in the clear as long as the stacks of papers don’t dwarf that old CRT monitor.

Having a messy desk is acceptable within reason, especially if you’re in a dorm. Schoolwork piles up on all of us, right? It’s okay to have a bunch of I’ll-get-around-to-it-after-this-party homework on your desk. Watch out for valuables, though; a messy desk might look like an impenetrable fortress to you, but people in search of your loose change and weed will search the desk.

Step 3: The Table

If you’re in a dorm, your table is probably also your desk. There are two main states that a table can be in:

But not all forms of binging are appropriate. For example:

Step 4: The Bathroom

Step 5: The Trash

There are three main states that your trash can be:

Totally empty is acceptable. This is the ideal state, though you have to watch the states of the rest of your room. If your entire room is messy, but your trash can is clean, people will just assume that someone puked in there and you wanted to get rid of it, which can quickly roll it over into unacceptable territory.

Unless the trash can is in the middle of the room (UNACCEPTABLE), no one really cares if it’s full of junk.

After clearing the old gravy off your desk, you have to empty the trash. If people are coming over later, crumple a bunch of papers up to make the trash can look more full. If they ask why your bin is full of crumpled papers, tell them you’re an art major.

Step 6: The Floor

Pretty much everyone appreciates a good clean floor. This goes double if you expect people to take their shoes off when entering your room.

It might look kind of cool if you have so much junk on the floor that you can’t even see the actual floor anymore, but unless you’re willing to commit to such an arrangement you’re better off just keeping the place clean. Besides, do you really want people to get papercuts from walking barefoot on your I’ll-get-around-to-it-after-this-party floor-homework?

And that’s all the advice I have for now.

Written by Likes to Ramble

1 Comment

  1. Tweets that mention Messy Rooms: Get Your Shit Together | Likes to Ramble -- Topsy.com · November 21, 2010

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ryan Lalonde and Ryan Lalonde, Likes to Ramble. Likes to Ramble said: New post: Messy Rooms: Get Your Shit Together http://bit.ly/aFy1UU #ltr […]

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