The Twisted Truth behind Caiden Cowger

Caiden Cowger, a 14-year-old conservative from West Virginia, USA, has been stirring up trouble on the web lately with a series of videos covering a range of topics from how cool God is to why he won’t ever shut up — but most importantly, this video, a four-minute rant about how Obama is turning the children of his country into gay sinners.

I’m not going to pick on him, like The Young Turks did, nor am I going to make fun of his grammar, like TMZ. Obviously, he doesn’t need any more death threats or harassment. What he needs at this stage of his life is to realize the truth about himself.

Caiden Cowger, you are gay.

Think about it: one of the central arguments in the video is that because Obama says being gay is acceptable, people are deciding to do it. That argument is grounded on the premise that gay love is very tempting — so tempting that, with societal restrictions removed, all the country’s youth would give in to it.

Here’s the thing, though: gay love is not remotely tempting to a straight person. The only way your argument makes internal sense is if the person making it is, themself, very gay. You see homosexuality as a threat because your same-sex temptations are legitimately putting you at risk of defying the printed word of the bible.

Does this mean you will turn to a life of sin and suffer eternity in hell? No, it doesn’t. Your decisions are still yours to make: you could marry a wife, have several children, and take them to church every Sunday without ever seeing a naked man. That is, after all, the life that conservatives advocate for gays. Unfortunately, this does mean you’ll never be happy and you will die full of angst and self-loathing.

And that’s the real danger of religion. Because Caiden’s parents told him stories of a magical Justice Fairy, his life is doomed to misery — unless he comes to the realization that his god isn’t real, which itself is quite a terrifying experience.

This is the kind of damage that you can do to your children by teaching them your convictions. Sure, there is a chance that your child will be a straight, white male, with a hatred for shellfish, in which case he might be very well-adjusted with his Catholic lifestyle. More often than not, however, you will seriously twist your child’s perception of reality and make their teenage years unnecessarily harrowing.

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12 Responses to “The Twisted Truth behind Caiden Cowger”

  1. Caiden Cowger says:

    Oh yeah? Well we’ll see who’s laughing when Obama turns YOU gay! Won’t be too quick to ramble then, will ya!

  2. Connor says:

    Ah, we can only hope young Caiden sees this before he irrevocably removes himself from the gay community to which he truly belongs. At least there’s plenty self-discovery to go at 14.

  3. Bran Rainey says:

    “Caiden Cowger”? This is a real person, right? Not a J. K. Rowling character?

  4. Brian Kennedy says:

    In which a person completely ignorant of both parenting and Catholicism makes insinuations involving both. Good thing your parents never taught you their convictions, it might have seriously twisted your perception of reality and made your teenage years unnecessarily harrowing.

    Do you revel in being a religious bigot, or are you, per your own logic, a self-hating Catholic? The Twisted Truth behind Dan Soucy.

  5. Bryan Casey says:

    “Do you revel in being a religious bigot, or are you, per your own logic, a self-hating Catholic? The Twisted Truth behind Dan Soucy.”

    The difference is that being Catholic is a choice with no social/religious stigmas attached.

  6. r wolff says:

    Jesus_ The Christ was the first Human Rights activist.

    The sum and total of his life is the fact that his teaching were liberating and they promoted personal freedom, liberty and justice,and his ways were presented in a quiet simple manner and his words were quietly spoken. His message followed the Mosaic law concerning generosity and kindness and for us to love our neighbor. Contrary to belief the commandments were not meant to frighten; they were meant to enlighten; they spoke of man’s responsibility to himself and his family. The Christ was also a law breaker since he gathered to his side the unloved and the unwanted. I enjoy the fact that his teachings were simply stated and that he didn’t harangue on and on or berate or malign anyone. He simply said love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as you love yourself; with these few words he changed the lives of many.

    The Christ was a Teacher of truth who welcomed the little children… who he said totally understood his simple parables; ‘let them come and listen he told the people. Here was a simple man who dressed simply and also lived simply. He was a quiet penniless man who rode on the back of a donkey or walked everywhere; and he stood on a hill and spoke yet 5000 heard his voice; Now there is a man to follow after. These are the simple teachings that I want to embrace. These teachings are about honor and justice and commonsense values and spirituality; not moralistic hypocrisy. He knew that mankind needed to hear more about commonsense values. His teachings were spiritual and promote equality. His wisdom quietly enlightened his followers and he didn’t promote hysteria or frighten anyone. And His Life and Message gave mankind a vision of hope and love, this is why his teachings have stood up so well throughout history. His message never promoted bias or bigotry. The Christ didn’t have a ‘program’ or ever wrote a book; never cultivated followers; yet -His- simple message is just as powerful today. This extrordinary man knew …. without a doubt his very essence proclaimed truth! Every single atom, cell and molecule that comprised -His- body vibrated with the inner awareness that God the father is love. His life was the example and mankind should be giving more attention to -His human rights message of life, liberty and justice.

    On the other hand Caiden Cowger you speak and live the polar opposite …. you disrespect and harass while enjoying all the pleasures of life, liberty and the pursuing of happiness — enjoying the freedom of speech that our ancient ancestors fought and died for when they fled opposition and tyranny; ancestors_ that worked hard for and fought for to bring the Constitution into fruition. Sadly, your life and teaching and what you preach are so far removed from the simple wisdom of the Master.

    And you will profit handsomely … no doubt you will become a millionaire from your book tours and speaking engagements from your dreadful program – and you have the audacity to complain that your rights are being infringed upon while you live comfortably surrounded by friends and family. Do not forget the Master’s ways and wisdom, and if you must have an idol it should be The Master… not Mr Beck or Mr Limbaugh.

  7. Jesus The Christ says:

    He’s right ^^

  8. Beth Copeland says:

    Caiden, please explain how Obama has the power to turn kids gay. You made the claim. Back it up with some solid evidence.

  9. Dan Soucy says:

    that’s actually a fairly easy dissonance to resolve from the point of view of a gay christian, beth.

    in caiden’s mind, it’s normal to have strong sexual emotions toward people of the same gender and to repress them. he thinks that’s the way it works for everyone. when he sees obama accepting gays, he interprets it as telling everyone to stop repressing and just go with it.

    that’s why he thinks “turning gay” could happen to anyone, and that’s why he’s frightened that it’s going to happen to him next. to him, “turning gay” is what a sane person calls “coming out”.

    since obama arguably does have the power to convince gays to decloset themselves, caiden sees this as a threat to his and everyone else’s acceptance into the magical afterlife.

    what caiden doesn’t realize is that the majority of people just don’t have those kinds of emotions in the first place. but, going off only the information that he’s got, drawing the conclusion that obama is turning kids gay does make perfect sense.

  10. Daniel Soucy says:

    He’s wrong ^^

  11. scott atlaner says:

    I do not think it is a matter of Cowger coming out as gay. He has never, so far as I have seen, given his critics a single denial of this. He has only stood firm in that he will not act on this nor embrace it as his identity.

    The sole question would be whether or not he will renounce his fundamentalist Christianity. It is deeply rooted and his faith is the essence and expression of such fundamentalism.

    He obviously believes that it is better to repress gay sexuality, and have eternal glory, than to view it as something to be embraced and enjoyed, at the cost of eternal glory. This dichotomy is real to him. As a consequence of his pentecostal training, he is a believer both in essentialism and in the eternal realms of Plato.

    For us, there is no such dichotomy, and hence, no choice to make,and nothing to repress.

    For Cowger, others have given up the one thing which is lasting and real. Who can doubt that his faith is real, and that the choice is his, and his alone? That he seeks to convert others to salvation is in keeping with two millennia of western history.

  12. [...] Dan Soucy, a 19-year-old Canadian socialist, has been stirring up trouble on the web lately with mean, scandalous posts about our Lord and other central pillars of the good Christian web. Worst of all, Soucy has also recently taken to mocking the famous Caiden Cowger, accusing him of being a homosexual. [...]

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