The Smoking Stigma
Posted on 22. Jun, 2011 by Dan Soucy.
Every single one of us makes unhealthy choices on a regular basis. Eating pizza, spending too much time at the computer, having sex with strangers, you name it – somebody’s doing it right now. We don’t do it for any particular reason, other than because we like it and want to. It’s the same reason why people jump out of planes with nothing but a piece of nylon strapped on their backs. They know there are about twenty things that can go wrong, each one ending in an immediate death, but they do it anyway because they get a kick out of it. Why is it that parachuters are lauded for their bravery while smokers are shunned in public?
I’d like to think people don’t judge others on their personal preferences, but that’s just not the way it is. Smokers are assumed to be morons even more quickly than artists are assumed to be gay. It would be really nice if we could all realize that what a person chooses to spend their time and money on really doesn’t say very much about who they are. I’ve met plenty of smokers who are perfectly rational people, and far more than my share of dickheads who would insist that tobacco is the devil’s blood and should be outlawed.
Yes, smoking is dangerous. I know it, you know it, and every smoker knows it. They’ve decided to take the risk of getting sick in thirty years in exchange for some short-term pleasure. Stop pretending you don’t do the exact same thing. You do, and you should keep doing it. It is never a poor choice to want to be happy.
So, for fuck’s sake, stop pointing at every person you see with a cigarette and telling me all about their bad life choices. It’s their life – let them do what they want.
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My Thoughts on Dumb People
Posted on 15. Jun, 2011 by Max Baumbach.
Why are people so fucking dumb? Like, goddamn dude, why can’t you fucking SEE the big picture, moron? Everyone has moments from time to time where someone else’s stupidity astounds and enrages them, and rightly so.
You see a bunch of schlubs taking Scientologist happiness tests in the subway, you read about how a lot of Americans think their president wasn’t born in the US, or sometimes it’s just that people are generally watered-down, dull, stupid people who don’t think critically about anything and can’t spell. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
The beauty of human interaction is that even relatively stupid people can empathize with this frustration, as intelligence is not black and white but a gradient, and arguably it isn’t linear either, but more some abstract pattern which curves and spikes due to various outside influences, such as upbringing and genetics. In other words, no matter how fucking stupid you are, you’re always smarter and more insightful than someone else, because you happened to be somewhere where a lesson was learned, and they missed it by not being there. This is why even dumb kids know not to brag to their parents about getting pregnant, or walk into traffic, because they learned through first- and second-hand experience that neither of those are very good ideas.
But simply being in the right place at the right time with your eyes and ears open isn’t enough to save most people from the rapidly expanding black hole that is their own ignorance. This is evident from the fact that there are plenty of people in their old age who are still as stupid and diluted as the hood teenagers who bag their Depends at Rite-Aid, and who they just love to admonish and put down for not being successful. The difference is that these assholes have had seventy years on the Earth to figure out their shit, but instead they can’t even figure out when they have to shit.
So what is it that makes some people smart and some people incompetent? Though a lot of people would like to believe it’s all genetics and God and thetans, the truth is that it’s actually rather simple; the basis of intelligence is interest. People who are successful and intelligent and “geniuses” aren’t really endowed with something you don’t have; that’s just something we’d like to think because it gives us yet another excuse to feel deprived about something. The truth is that these people are simply interested in learning; they’re curious. If you aren’t interested in the world and how things work, you won’t learn about it. Who would have fucking thought, right?
And it’s not even something that’s terribly difficult to ascertain when you look at every day occurrences of stupidity. Many people are intense sports fanatics who follow every facet of every game and can debate these components with a shocking amount of insight and perspective, yet they will vote a make-believe cowboy into office because he reminds them of their buddies. They are clearly capable of understanding why that’s stupid, but they choose not to think about it. Again, it’s about interest. Anyone can figure out that the real reason kids don’t know how to spell beyond a first grade level on Facebook is not because they’re mentally challenged but because they simply don’t give a fuck; i.e., they have no intrinsic interest in the medium we use to interpret the world and communicate with each other: language. Now that’s the definition of stupid.
It’s really a shame, too, because aside from various exceptions due to pathological causes (autism, retardation, etc.), it’s pretty well established that kids are born curious and interested in what goes on around them. The problem is that a lot of parents are more concerned with making their child’s existence convenient for them than actually nurturing an intelligent, innovative future generation. Fun fact: your kids didn’t choose to be put on the Earth and they have no inherent obligation to you whatsoever. On the contrary, they are owed an upbringing that allows their individuality and natural inclination towards learning to flourish.
So, unless you want smug blogger assholes like me to harbor infinite amounts of disdain for your offspring and write angry rants about them on the Internet, I suggest you either invest more care into their mental and social development, or wear a rubber. Either would be a smart idea.
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Thoughts on the Skype purchase
Posted on 14. May, 2011 by Dan Soucy.
On the surface, it’s a little bit confusing. Microsoft is out for money. What interest do they have in Skype? That, it turns out, is the 8.5 billion-dollar question. Where Skype is successful, it’s only marginally so; in fact, it lost $7 million in the last year. Microsoft clearly isn’t aiming for direct profits. On the other hand, Skype has almost 700 million registered users. For comparison, that’s slightly more than Facebook. Unfortunately, Skype’s main service is free of charge, with only small fees for calls to phones and group video chats.
Let’s start off: Skype is currently multi-platform. It’s available for Windows XP, Vista, and 7, for Linux and Mac OS X, and for Android, iOS, Blackberry and Symbian. Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has clearly stated that Skype will be continued for “non-Microsoft platforms”, but did not mention any specifically. He went on to state that limiting the userbase would reduce the value of Skype, which is completely true. However, it also works the other way – limiting Skype users to certain platforms reduces the perceived value of all other platforms.
My suspicion is that Microsoft will continue to support many platforms, but not all of them. I don’t think there’s any way they can drop support for Mac OS X without rendering Skype nearly worthless as millions of users switch to a different VoIP service. However, Linux doesn’t have nearly the installed userbase that the Macintosh has, and I suspect only a minority of Linux users are interested in Skype to begin with. I don’t believe that Skype for Linux holds much value, so I don’t think it’s very likely that Microsoft will continue to support it.
The second system to go will be Windows XP. Microsoft has been trying very hard to kill XP in recent times – just look at Internet Explorer 9 for an example. They want people to stop using XP for two reasons: because it’s holding up progress, and because they want to sell more Windows 7 licenses. Windows XP is still the most common operating system in the world, for the time being.
Lastly, I can’t see Microsoft funding work on Skype for Android. Google is probably Microsoft’s top rival, and Android is rapidly becoming one of the most popular mobile platforms. This product competes directly with the Windows 7 Phone. I’m predicting Microsoft will do whatever it can to curb the growth of Android, even at the cost of hurting Skype.
Don’t be too surprised to see Skype bundled with Windows Live Essentials and frequently pre-installed by manufacturers on all new Windows systems starting in a year or so. It’s the strategy Microsoft has used a dozen times before, with Office, Internet Explorer, Windows Media Player, MSN, and Windows itself. Microsoft is fully aware that most people won’t know how to install a competing product, and it’s going to count on that to boost the usage of Skype. Once ubiquitous, they’ll use Skype to boost the rest of their products, from Windows 7 Phone to Windows Live and possibly even the Xbox.
A possibility that I’m not too sure about is embedding advertisements in the Skype client. Microsoft doesn’t seem to object to this practice, as they’re willing to do it to MSN users, but adding ads after Skype has been ad-free for years may result in a nasty backlash from the userbase. There’s no doubt that ads would make Skype more profitable in the short term, but it may have the side-effect of making it less of a weapon in the long term.
Has Microsoft overpaid for Skype? Probably, but not by too much. It may not have $8.5 billion immediate value, but with proper abuse, it could turn out to be the very thing Microsoft needs to catch up to its competitors. You Skype users out there had better hope they don’t mutilate it too badly.
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Glenn Beck: You will be sorely missed
Posted on 09. Apr, 2011 by Dan Soucy.
I just heard that your show’s contract will not be renewed this December. While I find this deeply disappointing, I am grateful that the blisters on my backside will have a chance to heal. I have spent so much time watching your show that I believe I may be losing the ability to walk at all, but my friends are jealous of how politically informed I am. They frequently ask me questions like, “when is the world going to end” and I’m always the one with the answers. I consider myself your #1 fan, and I even got a tattoo of you on my chest. Unfortunately it had got infected and permanently disfigured me, but that’s the price you pay for economic liberty!
I currently own $10, 946 worth in gold from Goldline, as you recommended. When the economy collapses again, I will not be left behind. Sadly, when my attic collapses again, I will have to move the coins somewhere else. The last time they fell on me, I was nearly crushed.
I remember that day on your radio show when you were talking about the Marxist invasion of our homes. I was probably paying twice as much attention to you as I was to the road! Coincidentally, I went plowing into a ditch and dislocated both of my shoulders, but when the Marxists showed up at my door, I was ready for them.
I have also become a devout Mormon, although I do not know exactly what that is. If you lose your home as a result of this, I want you to know that you can store your chalkboards in my garage.
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Pets
Posted on 04. Apr, 2011 by Dan Soucy.
I’m thinking that one of these days I might get a pet. I don’t know what kind of pet, maybe a cat or something cool like a giraffe. Not a fish; they feel funny and don’t do anything. They’re much too slippy and they wiggle when you try to hold them. They don’t like being patted, either, but I’m okay with that. People waste way too much time patting their dogs already. Stroking is the new patting.
I used to have a friend who had a brown, ugly dog. His name was Woofers. I don’t understand why anyone would want an ugly pet. It used to run out to the road and bark at anyone who walked by. That is, until the day when it was suddenly hit by a car. Incidentally, Coke is great for getting bloodstains off your bumper before the cops show up. Anyway, after that Woofers didn’t want to be friends with me any more. Some people need to learn to forgive and forget.
The neat thing about pets is that they look cute but they can also be used to exact vengeance on your enemies or total strangers. My parents used to have a cat that would immediately scratch anybody who entered the house. Whenever Jehovah’s Witnesses showed up at the door, we would act all interested and invite them in for tea. They had to tolerate the scratching – we told them we couldn’t put the cat in another room because we were too afraid of it.
Another benefit of having a pet is that, unlike people, pets don’t talk. This is good in two ways: firstly, you don’t have to worry about your pets yelling out the answers when you’re trying to watch Jeopardy. Secondly, no matter what you do to them, they can’t tell anyone.
When I get my pet, it will be the happiest pet ever. We will play fetch and paintball and we will re-enact my favourite Western movies. I will be sure to feed it every day unless I forget or am angry at it.
