How To Make A Grilled Cheese In The Microwave
Posted on 27. Mar, 2011 by Ryan Lalonde.
These are the five simple steps to follow if you want to make a grilled cheese in the microwave.
Step 1: Choose the type of bread you want to use
Step 2: Put the bread in the toaster
Step 3: Butter the toast, then put 1-2 slices of cheese on the toast
Step 4: Put the sandwich in the microwave for 30 seconds
Step 5: Enjoy
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“Scientists”
Posted on 01. Mar, 2011 by Dan Soucy.
Every once in a while, I pick up a scientific paper and start reading it. I don’t know why — I know they’re loaded with garbage and lies — but I do, and every time I do, I see the same thing. It’s some raving madman claiming to have discovered some new thing that will change our lives (but never does) or has otherwise found “proof” of evolution. This leaves me wondering a few things:
Firstly, what do scientists have against God? Why is it that I never read any “scientific” papers that prove he does exist? Is it just me, or does every person claiming to be an “intellectual” deny the greatness of our Lord?
Secondly, why all the big words? Why can’t they speak English? They always use complicated terms like DNA and H2O instead of just telling us what they’re talking about. H2O is water, by the way — but a scientific paper won’t tell you that. I don’t even know what DNA is supposed to mean, probably alcohol or something.
Thirdly, if medicine doctors are so good at curing things, why are there so many diseases out there that have yet to be cured? They keep their patients in the hospitals for weeks (and charging them big money) instead of just fixing what’s broken and sending them on their way. I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but it’s pretty clear that’s what’s happening.
Lastly, if, as they claim, they can’t cure these diseases, why do we keep funding medical research? If it’s done, it’s done. It’s not like they could have ever reversed God’s will anyway. We could be using that money for something useful, like a bigger army, or more bibles for starving kids in the Middle East.
I don’t know how we’re supposed to keep blindly trusting these so-called scientists. They lie, they make up facts, and worst of all, they appear to put absolute faith in their little “textbooks”.
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Psychiatry and Charity
Posted on 17. Feb, 2011 by Dan Soucy.
One of the oldies I knew from kindergarten linked me to his new website today. When I first saw that he started a charity, I was filled with joy. Finally, here’s a person who tries to do something instead of being a generic drone, pretending everything’s okay. Then I actually looked at the website. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this disappointed. It’s yet another mental health charity.
The website’s mission page states that their dream is a new generation where people are “able to see those with Schizophrenia and other mental illnesses as men and women, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives; a generation that allows people to look beyond the myths, misconceptions and pre-judgements that confuse and frighten people”. I’m going to tell you why this is going in completely the wrong direction. If you are the sort of person who plugs their ears and hums when they hear anything they don’t like, do me a favour and stop reading here. You won’t like what I’ve got to say.
‘Mental illness’ – what does this mean? What is a mental illness? Most people would agree to the following definition: “a mental illness occurs when the mind is not functioning in the way it’s supposed to.” This begs the question, “how is the mind supposed to work?” and the only answer is “like everyone else’s.” So a person with a mental illness is a person who doesn’t think in the way that society has decided is acceptable. A person with a mental illness is anybody who happens to be too different from the norm.
Does this sound outrageous? Yes, and rightly so, but it’s true, and I can back it up with a historical example. Until the 1970s, homosexuality was officially classified as a mental disorder and ‘sick gays’ were treated on a regular basis. Did any of the treatments turn their patients straight? Hell no, but that didn’t stop the doctors from trying. Meanwhile, charities were working to raise money for homosexuality treatment research.
Now we have the same thing being applied in a million other situations. If a person is very reclusive – more introverted than is deemed acceptable – then they’re not just shy any more. Suddenly they have Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome. Furthermore, psychiatry makes the claims that these ‘symptoms’ can be cured and also that they should. Why can’t they just be shy? And what if they’re perfectly happy to be shy? Why should anyone interfere with another person’s state of mind?
Arbitrarily defining unusual behaviour as an illness is not science. Using drugs to dampen the mind’s ability to feel emotions is not medicine. Locking people up and forcibly drugging them when they haven’t done anything except be different is simply evil. This is what charities like Light the Way are funding.
Here’s what ‘mental illness’ is: it’s a term doctors use to make you believe there’s something wrong with you when there isn’t. We already know that every mind works differently. Some people’s minds work very differently. These people are said to have schizophrenia, or Asperger’s, or some other non-existent disease, when the truth is that they are just different, nothing more. Further, trying to ‘treat’ these non-existent diseases doesn’t work and never has.
This is what really bothers me about the above quote. It shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the mind’s functioning. We shouldn’t have to look past people’s mental illnesses. We should be acknowledging that they’re fictitious and irrelevant.
In the future, maybe there will be a drug that will permanently change how people’s minds work, but would you want it? I wouldn’t. I’m happy with the fucked-up mind I’ve got, thanks.
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The number one threat to modern society
Posted on 10. Feb, 2011 by Dan Soucy.
I remember a time, way, way back, when we weren’t afraid. A time when everyone was safe, was happy. When I look outside today, all I can think about is how far we’ve fallen as a society.
There are some outrageous disgusting unforgivable acts going on in the world. Back then, we would have burned these people at the stake, but today, it is far too often overlooked, almost acceptable to commit these kinds of atrocities. And in these dark times, I can only cling to my bible for protection against the evils of the world.
I want my children to be able to grow up in an environment where they can feel safe. The last thing I want for them is for them to feel pressured by society, which is getting increasingly dangerous, not to mention sinful.
By this point, I’m sure you’ve all figured out what this great threat to our liberty is. This is a disease – a disease so powerful that when good young boys contract it, they instantly kill themselves. Yes, I am talking about the gay.
Over the past century, the gay has become one of the most deadly forces facing Americans. It has been known to turn ordinary, God-fearing people into murderers, criminals, and atheists. We need to come together and put a stop to it, right now. For the sake of our future. Because, damn it, I will not have my children marrying anyone of the same gender, whether they want to or not. I know what’s best for them, even when they’re forty years old.
So what can we do? The only way to stop the spread of the gay is to kill anyone showing symptoms on sight. Get out your gun – if you’re a true American, you have at least three of these – and shoot them before it’s too late. Kill them before they kill you! Or worse! YOU could catch the gay! Or your family! DO YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO CONTRACT THE GAY???
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Tone Deaf Dubbing
Posted on 04. Feb, 2011 by ???.
I am not a big anime consumer. But I do enjoy Miyazaki films.
I just watched Princess Mononoke for maybe the third time in my life: this time, in Japanese. The copy came with both audios, but only one set of English subs: so I was watching the Japanese version, subtitled with the text of the English version. But that shouldn’t be a big deal, right? They’re roughly equivalent, right?
What I saw was a portal opened to the greasy, cavernous depths of human evil.
You really don’t understand, until you have happened to watch a movie this way, just how disgusting the dubbing process really is. There is an opening shot of a forest, music plays. I am looking at subtitles telling me in an omniscient, authoritative tone (I can imagine a Disney trailer voiceover just reading them) about an age of gods and demons. This narration is not present in the movie I am watching. But it had to be there for the English dub, or we might not have known what the movie was about.
It soon becomes clear that in every scene with humans, dialogue subtitles are appearing even when no one is speaking. This is not an exaggeration: every single time a human is present in a scene, and you don’t have a clear look at their mouth, they do not speak in the animation. And every single time this happens, the English version makes them speak. There can be no silence; these gaps must be filled by mediocre English voice acting, without fail. Otherwise the audience would wonder what was going on. Huh? Why are we looking at those people being killed? Oh, the character just told me it’s a massacre! Good thing, I might have missed that! I know when I watch animation, I close my eyes and just listen to the characters tell me what’s happening.
As you can imagine, an entire movie’s tone can be changed this way. Friendly interjections are thrown in where there once was formality. A simple call to a steed becomes “Yakul! Come here boy! Good boy! I have to praise you verbally or the audience won’t know I’m a kind person!” Ashitaka gives instructions to people, and they run off. The subtitles respond for them, “All right! Don’t get hurt!” Ashitaka later must leave his village; his tribesmen cannot go with him, cannot say goodbye, cannot even watch him go. He departs in silence; the subtitles say, “Farewell.” This is all in the first five minutes.
It only gets worse as the pacing increases. A convoluted battle scene: a caravan is attacked. It is very obviously a supply caravan. But there is bustle, confusion. Through the battle, the subtitles give, over the crowd’s grey noise, calming instructions. “Come on! Keep moving!” The attackers disappear; there is suspense. “Where are they?” the subtitles ask helpfully. Men have fallen off a cliff. “What about them?” The caravan leader’s response is given curtly, to leave them for dead. The scene cuts there, but not before the subtitles can add, “Let’s get the living ones home!” Because they might have been moving on for some other purpose.
Why? What is the philosophy that justifies making your own movie out of someone else’s work? Princess Mononoke was taken, with its spare dialogue, and visually driving style, and raped. It was bound to a table, legs spread, and violated with stuffing and folderol, crammed into its cavities by the sweaty fistful. Were the translators being paid according to how many words they produced? Would Billy Crudup and Billy Bob Thornton only sign onto the project if they got a certain number of lines?
Translators — perhaps this is the problem. The movie is not dubbed by translators, it is dubbed by dubbers. All this time I thought I was getting translations of Miyazaki movies, when I was actually getting adaptations. Adaptations with American writers, American producers, American actors. The American audience expects nothing less.
What’s sad is, the adaptation isn’t actually that bad. It’s still a good movie, good enough to be one of the best I saw as a child. About fifty times better than Lion King, and I liked Lion King. Maybe that’s why they get away with it. But I have a problem with the ethics of rewriting a text (and a movie’s script is a text) with the imposition of one’s own ideas, and representing it as equivalent to the original. Please have this in mind, the next time you are watching a dub, if you watch dubs (most people do). There is no regard for the original tone in the dubbing process.
Miyazaki himself has said he wants audiences to watch his movies in their native language, whatever it is, so as not to distract from the animation. There’s something to be said for this; subtitles do distract. But they do not corrupt and defile, hopefully. They do not add and inflate. This cannot be said for Miyazaki dubs. Watching Miyazaki dubbed is not even watching his movie, but something else, with a cloudy, veinous coating on it. I thought I had seen Princess Mononoke before, but I feel like I haven’t really seen it until today. And since I was still reading the story from the English dub, perhaps I still haven’t seen it.
