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Why Five-Paragraph Essays are Bullshit

Posted on 06. Dec, 2009 by Bran Rainey.

There’s nothing more classic than the five-paragraph essay. They’re what people think of when they hear the word: an introduction, a thesis, three body paragraphs, a conclusion, and a bibliography. Everyone has written some in school before, so they must be the pinnacle of academic achievement, right? Nope.

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How To Make A Grilled Cheese In The Microwave

These are the five simple steps to follow if you want to make a grilled cheese in the microwave.

Suicide Is Confusing

My mom listens to country music. Somehow, that's related to my thoughts on suicide and life itself. Suicide is confusing.

I learnt how to perform cunnilingus while on holiday with my boyfriend

I was in a mixed class of kids from grades two and three, and whenever a concept was grade-three-only the teacher would assign the grade two students some questions and tell them to sit in a corner and ignore her lesson. I got in some trouble back then for persisting in listening to her lessons instead of doing my work, but hey, I sure was good at multiplying by the time I hit later grades. Okay, so that story had almost nothing to do with cunnilingus, but it's relevant.

Sometimes I Know Why Pot Is Illegal

For some people, pot can cause the creative stroke of brilliance that lets them do things they only ever dreamed of. For most people, pot is just something to do for fun and really doesn't help them at all. You need to put things in perspective in a way that indicates actual maturity.

Franchise Reboots Are Bullshit

Here's something I'm completely sick of: the James Bond franchise.

How to disassemble a Toshiba Satellite L300 laptop

Disclaimer: I am not a professional. I'm a guy who likes computers and has little to no money to waste on repairs. Don't blame me if you screw up your laptop doing this. It WILL void the warranty.

Pets

Scruffy animals that live in your house and eat your food.

My Thoughts on Dumb People

Because they certainly aren't going to be doing much thinking, are they?

Glenn Beck: You will be sorely missed

The cancellation of your show pains me almost as much as watching your show.

My Favourite Class of the Semester (By Far)

I took several college classes last semester. Some were thought-provoking, some were captivating, and some were Writing and Clinical Thinking.

Sony and Anonymous

The level of understanding I've seen of how Anonymous operates has been hilariously low over the past few days. You're all acting like you have no clue how the internet works.

My standard response to receiving Microsoft Office attachments

I'm tired of receiving Microsoft Office files, so I've prepared a response for that situation. It's largely not an original work - rather it's a customized compilation of thoughts from various sources. I'm mostly putting it here for reference.

Money can't buy happiness

According to psychology, the age-old aphorism "money can't buy happiness" is actually true... after a certain point. It is definitely true that the extremely poor are unhappy, since they can't even satisfy their base needs, but once a person gets enough money to survive the line gets blurrier.

The Smoking Stigma

Something I've been hearing a lot of lately (actually, for the past two decades) is that smoking ordinary cigarette is a poor life choice. Sure, the body of evidence about the drug's physiological effects is conclusive, but there's more to a life choice than "is it healthy for my body".

Thoughts on the Skype purchase

I've never been a big user of Skype. I downloaded it a few years ago so I could have a quick conversation or two with somebody I'd never met. I decided it wasn't really for me, so I stopped using it and forgot about it, and have never had any reason to install it on this PC. Still, I have to admit that I find Microsoft's $8.5 billion purchase intriguing.

Tag Archives: academia

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