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CONTROVERSIAL RANT: Religion Makes You An Arrogant Douchebag

It is a question everyone comes to at some point in their lives: why am I here? Is the meaning of life really just a by-product of my parents fucking? Perhaps it is… maybe it isn’t!

But guess what? I’m not going there! Today I will focus on the kind of personalities believing in a sky wizard attracts rather than the merits of said sky wizard. Because you see, to actually believe in such supernatural phenomena, these people have to have an ego as big as the god they believe to be real.

What’s the point of believing in some overwhelming savior if you can’t at least imagine what he might physically and mentally be like. To be able to preach to others and share the “word of god” you have to think like a god, and so thanks to years of church reinforcement they want to be that much closer to said god. Why wouldn’t they be? After all, he is the center of the universe and the reason for everything, so they will logically gravitate to him. And just like a child wanting to be more like their parents, they want to be more like the Ultimate Parent.

See how this might be the perfect storm for turning your child into an arrogant douche? Maybe you might say I’m saying that a god-like character is inescapably an arrogant motherfucker, and you’re probably right. In exchange for the after-life delusion, religious people sacrifice an element of humanity that is going extinct: humility.

When I was a child growing up I couldn’t reconcile everything being rational in school and then going to church and having these supernatural elements integrated into almost every sentence they said. It was a constant culture shock to me. I think any facility that has the power to take someone’s brain and let them believe their own fiction is a manufacturing site for craziness.

Another note that may be of interest: a 2,000 year old book can’t explain everything, so the context of the modern world fills the gaps of their religious world view, so this unconscious integration of culture and religion — ideas only apparent to the believer to be very serious business (such as God creating their telephone) — compounds the situation and makes the belief system that much more dangerous to their mental health.

For instance, I used to think that god created my Super Nintendo. My SNES was all I cared about back then so in my own way of thinking, god must have been good if he could create video games. So I prayed to god that I may get a Nintendo 64 for Christmas. That day never came so I started questioning whether god was real. That bastard Jesus gave me a PlayStation, I thought. Why has god forsaken me? But for me to even assume god was capable of immaculate console giving, made me think of myself as more powerful than other people. So the vicious cycle of being an arrogant douche continued until I excluded the supernatural elements from my everyday thought.

So, in the end of the day, its good these people have found a way to deal with their fragile mortality, but it came at the cost of being a crazy asshole. After all, they know “god” better than anyone, right? That’s what I’ve been told will happen to me if I get saved.

Please, save me from their bullshit.  Also notice I, without thinking, wrote this entire article as matter-of-fact? I’m afraid this type of upbringing has affected me in certain douchey ways. It may be too late for me, but please: if you decide to have kids, don’t fill their heads with garbage. Teach them ideas that have been proven to some degree by scientists, scholars, and common sense.

Stay tuned for the next post: how Jesus turned his people into foot-licking homosexuals.

Written by Likes to Ramble


  1. Mokey · February 20, 2010

    “But ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you I’m not full of myself. (Is it being full of myself to say that? )”

    Maybe. Every single religious douche that I met that is full of themselves, think they aren’t.

  2. Jason Hicks · January 11, 2010

    Well, I never “made it out” to be all of them. If you read, I am just talking about certain people with those personality traits. But this article is more for atheists by atheists than attempting to start a real discussion on the merits of religion.

    But some people need to be looked down on, especially when they’re arrogant douchebags (as is the point of this rant).

  3. Adam Milne · January 11, 2010

    I’m sorry, but I find this article to be quite ignorant. I will admit that there are a huge amount of religious people are full of themselves, but you’re making it out to be all of them. I myself am a Christian, I beleive Jesus died for my sins. But ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you I’m not full of myself. (Is it being full of myself to say that? :P) I find if you actually follow the messages of Christ you shouldn’t be looking down on others anyway. You just seem to be judging us as a whole, when you should instead be targeting a select few, like the douchebag activists who blame video games for the worlds problems.

  4. Jason Hicks · December 8, 2009

    Yeah, I can see the danger of making generalizations about the religious. People merely open to the idea of religion seem more agnostic than religious. I guess this post is more about the people going to church everyday who legitimately believe in that sort of thing.

  5. Twitted by RyanLalonde · December 8, 2009

    […] This post was Twitted by RyanLalonde […]

  6. Bran Rainey · December 8, 2009

    I really don’t like religion, but I try not to make any generalizations about religious people because “religious people” is such a broad category. A lot of people who claim to be religious don’t even really follow a religion; they seem to follow more the IDEA of a religion. I think that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, but it’s true, and I don’t care enough to argue with people about it.

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