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Every once in a while, I pick up a scientific paper and start reading it. I don’t know why — I know they’re loaded with garbage and lies — but I do, and every time I do, I see the same thing. It’s some raving madman claiming to have discovered some new thing that will change our lives (but never does) or has otherwise found “proof” of evolution. This leaves me wondering a few things:

Firstly, what do scientists have against God? Why is it that I never read any “scientific” papers that prove he does exist? Is it just me, or does every person claiming to be an “intellectual” deny the greatness of our Lord?

Secondly, why all the big words? Why can’t they speak English? They always use complicated terms like DNA and H2O instead of just telling us what they’re talking about. H2O is water, by the way — but a scientific paper won’t tell you that. I don’t even know what DNA is supposed to mean, probably alcohol or something.

Thirdly, if medicine doctors are so good at curing things, why are there so many diseases out there that have yet to be cured? They keep their patients in the hospitals for weeks (and charging them big money) instead of just fixing what’s broken and sending them on their way. I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but it’s pretty clear that’s what’s happening.

Lastly, if, as they claim, they can’t cure these diseases, why do we keep funding medical research? If it’s done, it’s done. It’s not like they could have ever reversed God’s will anyway. We could be using that money for something useful, like a bigger army, or more bibles for starving kids in the Middle East.

I don’t know how we’re supposed to keep blindly trusting these so-called scientists. They lie, they make up facts, and worst of all, they appear to put absolute faith in their little “textbooks”.

Written by Likes to Ramble


  1. Scientist · May 27, 2011

    Hypothesis: Dan Soucy is serious in this article.
    Experiment: Check to see which category this article is in.
    Results: It is in the humor section.
    Conclusion: He probably isn’t serious.

  2. .. · March 6, 2011

    I don’t believe Dan wrote this. There are capitals in it.

  3. Ryan Lalonde · March 2, 2011

    I laugh at everyone that doesn’t notice that this is in the “humour” category.

  4. holy spout · March 2, 2011

    Brilliant. Trolling with conviction.

  5. Arthur · March 2, 2011

    Dumbass. Everybody knows DNA stands for Douglas N. Adams.

  6. Chris · March 2, 2011

    this isnt for real is it??

  7. AtlantaAtheist · March 2, 2011

    Please tell me that this is fake. There is no way anyone in 2011 can be this willfully ignorant.

  8. Redditor:2quik4u · March 2, 2011

    I’ll be honest, for a while I thought this was satire and was laughing along. Then I realized you really believe this horseshit. If you don’t like science you should give up all the things science has brought you in life.

    A list like that wil include: modern day clothes, medicines, modern housing, electrical appliances of all kinds (including lighting in your home, tv and computers), cars, bikes, planes, plastic and petroleum products, modern glassware (including the architectural kind), processed wood products (made with modern equipment and processed with modern chemicals; both designed by scientific methods) and living in any city anywhere (as most modern day safety standards were established scientifically.)

    Infact move to the woods bare naked, and go rub two rocks to make a spearhead. THAT’s when you will live without the influence or help of scientists you ungrateful jackass.

  9. Sigh · March 2, 2011

    How can someone be this stupid? You know absolutely nothing about science, medicine, or evolution. I am am surprised you even know what the internet is at this point.

    Basically what you said was: I am stupid and believe in jesus and smart people don’t.

    Maybe those smart people know something you don’t……

  10. Brian S. · March 2, 2011

    Seems like you would rather deny the greatness of science and it’s ability to disprove but not prove, than accept that you are wrong.

  11. Jesus Christ · March 2, 2011

    I stopped reading when you said you don’t know what DNA is.

  12. Bran Rainey · March 2, 2011

    Mark, maybe you’d know how this blog works if you’d go to the front page. Or maybe that would take too much common sense.

  13. Dan Soucy · March 2, 2011

    sorry i don’t support freedom of speech i only support freedom of the bible

  14. Mark Curtin · March 2, 2011

    The reason that you have never seen any scientific papers proving he exists is because there is no scientific evidence for the existence of God.In answer to your second question, the reason they use big words is because they are explaining big concepts. These things are only being discovered by scientists to exist and so new terminology needs to be made for the purposes of referral. Now I’m not sure how this blog works, maybe you want it to be a big circlejerk where everybody agrees, but if you support freedom of speech you should publish dissenting opinion.

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