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Glenn Beck: You will be sorely missed

I just heard that your show’s contract will not be renewed this December. While I find this deeply disappointing, I am grateful that the blisters on my backside will have a chance to heal. I have spent so much time watching your show that I believe I may be losing the ability to walk at all, but my friends are jealous of how politically informed I am. They frequently ask me questions like, “when is the world going to end” and I’m always the one with the answers. I consider myself your #1 fan, and I even got a tattoo of you on my chest. Unfortunately it had got infected and permanently disfigured me, but that’s the price you pay for economic liberty!

I currently own $10, 946 worth in gold from Goldline, as you recommended. When the economy collapses again, I will not be left behind. Sadly, when my attic collapses again, I will have to move the coins somewhere else. The last time they fell on me, I was nearly crushed.

I remember that day on your radio show when you were talking about the Marxist invasion of our homes. I was probably paying twice as much attention to you as I was to the road! Coincidentally, I went plowing into a ditch and dislocated both of my shoulders, but when the Marxists showed up at my door, I was ready for them.

I have also become a devout Mormon, although I do not know exactly what that is. If you lose your home as a result of this, I want you to know that you can store your chalkboards in my garage.

Written by Likes to Ramble

1 Comment

  1. Mike · April 9, 2011

    That’s so sad. I bet some of these advertisers over here —->
    would have been happy to advertise on Glenn’s show if they’d known how bad he needed them. 🙁

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